The great thing about life is you get to choose what you want. You don't have to do it the same way as anyone else. For instance, Alex and I enjoy the Female Led Relationship (FLR) lifestyle. But, we don't take it too far if you know what I mean. We do what works for us.
As for the sites I've mentioned before (some are in the right column). I don't go as far as any of those sites in asserting my authority in our marriage -- at least not at this point. To our friends and family, they'd have to be extremely perceptive to realize what is really going on.
For the most part, they simply think we are a couple seriously in love (we are, can't keep hands off each other) and that Alex is a doting husband. For now, that's all I need. One day, I might want to assert
more public authority over Alex, and I think he secretly would "get off" on that. But, there's lots of potential problems with doing that, especially for our kids.
So, for now, this works. Most of the display of domination happens between just the two of us, privately. Of course, we have lots of fun in regular life sort of dancing around it. Like, we might have a normal discussion amongst family or friends where I want to do one thing and maybe Alex wants to do another and he'll say something like "whatever you say dear" or something like that, and we'll exchange knowing glances or giggles.
So, it's always fun. But, Alex and I both know that I have the ultimate say now, if it comes to that. But, honestly, he is so into pleasing me that he goes out of his way to agree with me anyway. This is a great thing
about female led marriage -- we have very little conflict.
How far will it go. I really don't know. Life is an adventure, right?
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Good FLR Books
OK, I've mentioned a few books and websites that I thought were good in other posts. But, figured I'd list a few more here. Some of the books I've read, some I hope to read. Here you go:
At Her Feet
His Deep Submission
Control Your Submissive Boy
Uniquely Rika
Love the cover shot of the submissive boy one (might dress up Alex sometime like that). And, 150 ideas for how to control him and have fun -- should be worth a few bucks.
There are so many good, serious, intelligent books out there about the Female Led Relationship (FLR) lifestyle -- it's hard to choose.
Let me know if you stumble on any good ones.
Off to read....
At Her Feet
His Deep Submission
Control Your Submissive Boy
Uniquely Rika
Love the cover shot of the submissive boy one (might dress up Alex sometime like that). And, 150 ideas for how to control him and have fun -- should be worth a few bucks.
There are so many good, serious, intelligent books out there about the Female Led Relationship (FLR) lifestyle -- it's hard to choose.
Let me know if you stumble on any good ones.
Off to read....
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Does Female Led Marriage Make Husband Just Another Child?
Of course not. Not any more than the traditional male dominated marriage made women just another child. I saw a chart that was interesting on -- about flr -- (I think it was there though I can't find it now) that showed how nearly all marriages lean one way or the other.
My husband is my husband. He does all the sorts of things husbands do. You would have to know us well to have any idea anything is different in our marriage. It's simply that I make most of the decisions in the house -- including in the bedroom. And, we both "get off" on this non-traditional power arrangement. It works well for us
both. But, actually my husband now does much more to help me than he used to -- so, he's anything but another child.
Another way to look at it is (I read this somewhere) -- my husband is King of the home. But, his most important job is to love the Queen of the home (me) and make sure my needs are met. When they are, things function well for everyone. He fulfills his role as King by ceding much of his power and authority (even over things in his own life) to me.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Why A Wife Led Marriage is Best For All
I've talked before about how our wife-led marriage has freed up my time considerably. I now have lots more "me" time to read, watch TV, listen to music or whatever I want. I used to get almost none of that.
Now, I'm much happier and at peace with my life. So, that's been great for me of course. But, it wouldn't work if it wasn't also better for my husband and kids.
Fortunately, it is. Because I have more control over my time, I now have time and space to do the serious thinking and planning about where our family should be headed and how we get there. In many chaotic families, no one does that because everyone is running around like crazy trying to keep up with life. Inevitably, balls get dropped, mistakes are made, important things get left undone, and that just causes more problems and more stress later.
Just like in a business, at home, someone has to keep tabs on what needs to be done and make sure it gets done. That happens best when one person takes the lead and for the most part schedules everyone's time. That way no doctors appointments are missed; not late to kids sports practices, trips to the vet, working with the kids schoolwork, lawn mowed, trash out, dishes done, laundry kept up, groceries bought, etc, etc, etc.
Like it or not, in nearly every household, this job is best done by the woman of the house. She knows best all the stuff that needs to be done to keep a house running. Frankly, most men don't. They really aren't as well equipped as their wives to keep track of it all. (And, they know this and will agree with it.) Men are very focused. They can achieve great things when focused on particular tasks. This is true whether in the workplace or at home. But, they are not nearly as good at juggling lots of things at once. So, it's your job to do that and keep him focused on what's most important for him to be doing. In a female-led relationship (the best kind) -- you get to decide what's important for your man to do at any given time.
So, for me, I spend time each weekend, creating schedules for everyone. Once you do it once, it's much easier after that. These are high-level schedules, not every single task. But, the big things for each day. I have one chart for each member of the family and I fill in what they need to do. I have a separate list of everything that needs to be done, simply listed out. 75% of that list are recurring things that need to happen each week. Grocery shopping; trash out, house cleaned, lawn mowed, etc. The other 25% are things unique to that week: Dr's visits, teacher conferences, etc. Then, I simply move things from the master list onto the individual lists.
Alex, of course, carries the heaviest load since he can do the most. But, I also try to give serious jobs to the kids and I have the time to teach them how to do the job. It's good for them to learn that. I might have a group project that I put Alex in charge of, but, privately, I tell Alex what needs to be done. He gets to lead in the eyes of the kids, and whoever else is around, but, of course, really I'm the one ensuring it gets done right.
So, that leadership role is a heavy responsiblity for me. If something doesn't get done, that needed to get done, it is really my fault first and foremost. I set the priorities, assign the tasks, and ensure they are done correctly. If that doesn't happen, unless someone has completely defied me (which will require strong consequences) -- then it is my fault for not enforcing the schedule and standards.
Again, though, can you see how important it is that someone fills this role? And, if you, and your husband are really honest, you will both agree that you are best equipped to fulfill the role of leader of the household.
Of course, it's tricky. Society has imposed certain expectations that the man is the leader. Frankly, I don't fight that. I don't flout my authority. My husband runs his work life as he wants (mostly; though I keep careful tabs on it and give him direction when needed). I give my husband his schedule for the week, but I do that privately. I don't want to bruise his ego by showing him up in front of the kids or anyone else. After all, I love him dearly and wouldn't want to hurt him (and maybe ruin the good thing we have going).
I don't want the kids telling their friends that their mom assigns tasks in writing to their dad. Again, in most families this is actually pretty much what happens anyway. It's just the formalization of it that is unusual. I do what I do, partially because it's what he wants actually, and it just works well. He knows what he needs to do for the week because I tell him. And, believe me, he gets it done. But, that's between us. No one casually observing our family would realize how different we really are. After all, most women behave similarly actually. It's just that in most families the roles aren't as formalized as they are in ours. In most families, the man does what he wants and the woman is left to handle everything else, which inevitably is much more than the man is actually doing. And, when the family is doing something together, it normally will be the woman who is telling everyone what to do, where to go, etc. It's just that it's much more chaotic and the roles and responsibilities much more unclear -- resulting in wasted time, duplication of efforts, dropped balls, anger at times, frustration, etc.
In our relationship, the roles are clear and understood. We each get better at our jobs every day. And, we're all having our needs fulfilled. My husband gets "turned on" by complying with my directions, he says he enjoys that; it makes him "hot." And, it does the same for me.
Our family functions well, harmoniously, and we have fun and great sex. I get more free time but it's understood I need that because I also have the most ultimate responsibility to keep everything operating smoothly.
Now, I'm much happier and at peace with my life. So, that's been great for me of course. But, it wouldn't work if it wasn't also better for my husband and kids.
Fortunately, it is. Because I have more control over my time, I now have time and space to do the serious thinking and planning about where our family should be headed and how we get there. In many chaotic families, no one does that because everyone is running around like crazy trying to keep up with life. Inevitably, balls get dropped, mistakes are made, important things get left undone, and that just causes more problems and more stress later.
Just like in a business, at home, someone has to keep tabs on what needs to be done and make sure it gets done. That happens best when one person takes the lead and for the most part schedules everyone's time. That way no doctors appointments are missed; not late to kids sports practices, trips to the vet, working with the kids schoolwork, lawn mowed, trash out, dishes done, laundry kept up, groceries bought, etc, etc, etc.
Like it or not, in nearly every household, this job is best done by the woman of the house. She knows best all the stuff that needs to be done to keep a house running. Frankly, most men don't. They really aren't as well equipped as their wives to keep track of it all. (And, they know this and will agree with it.) Men are very focused. They can achieve great things when focused on particular tasks. This is true whether in the workplace or at home. But, they are not nearly as good at juggling lots of things at once. So, it's your job to do that and keep him focused on what's most important for him to be doing. In a female-led relationship (the best kind) -- you get to decide what's important for your man to do at any given time.
So, for me, I spend time each weekend, creating schedules for everyone. Once you do it once, it's much easier after that. These are high-level schedules, not every single task. But, the big things for each day. I have one chart for each member of the family and I fill in what they need to do. I have a separate list of everything that needs to be done, simply listed out. 75% of that list are recurring things that need to happen each week. Grocery shopping; trash out, house cleaned, lawn mowed, etc. The other 25% are things unique to that week: Dr's visits, teacher conferences, etc. Then, I simply move things from the master list onto the individual lists.
Alex, of course, carries the heaviest load since he can do the most. But, I also try to give serious jobs to the kids and I have the time to teach them how to do the job. It's good for them to learn that. I might have a group project that I put Alex in charge of, but, privately, I tell Alex what needs to be done. He gets to lead in the eyes of the kids, and whoever else is around, but, of course, really I'm the one ensuring it gets done right.
So, that leadership role is a heavy responsiblity for me. If something doesn't get done, that needed to get done, it is really my fault first and foremost. I set the priorities, assign the tasks, and ensure they are done correctly. If that doesn't happen, unless someone has completely defied me (which will require strong consequences) -- then it is my fault for not enforcing the schedule and standards.
Again, though, can you see how important it is that someone fills this role? And, if you, and your husband are really honest, you will both agree that you are best equipped to fulfill the role of leader of the household.
Of course, it's tricky. Society has imposed certain expectations that the man is the leader. Frankly, I don't fight that. I don't flout my authority. My husband runs his work life as he wants (mostly; though I keep careful tabs on it and give him direction when needed). I give my husband his schedule for the week, but I do that privately. I don't want to bruise his ego by showing him up in front of the kids or anyone else. After all, I love him dearly and wouldn't want to hurt him (and maybe ruin the good thing we have going).
I don't want the kids telling their friends that their mom assigns tasks in writing to their dad. Again, in most families this is actually pretty much what happens anyway. It's just the formalization of it that is unusual. I do what I do, partially because it's what he wants actually, and it just works well. He knows what he needs to do for the week because I tell him. And, believe me, he gets it done. But, that's between us. No one casually observing our family would realize how different we really are. After all, most women behave similarly actually. It's just that in most families the roles aren't as formalized as they are in ours. In most families, the man does what he wants and the woman is left to handle everything else, which inevitably is much more than the man is actually doing. And, when the family is doing something together, it normally will be the woman who is telling everyone what to do, where to go, etc. It's just that it's much more chaotic and the roles and responsibilities much more unclear -- resulting in wasted time, duplication of efforts, dropped balls, anger at times, frustration, etc.
In our relationship, the roles are clear and understood. We each get better at our jobs every day. And, we're all having our needs fulfilled. My husband gets "turned on" by complying with my directions, he says he enjoys that; it makes him "hot." And, it does the same for me.
Our family functions well, harmoniously, and we have fun and great sex. I get more free time but it's understood I need that because I also have the most ultimate responsibility to keep everything operating smoothly.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Diet, Exercise and Sleep Control
So, last night a girlfriend was over. And an incident happened that reminded me of the sleep and diet control I have over Alex now. I don't think I've mentioned it before so figured I would now.
Last year I made some changes to his lifestyle to help him lose weight and get more sleep.
Diet: Alex had a bit of a gut on him that I'd rather he not have. And, he'd rather not have it either but (like most of us) he didn't have the willpower to do what needed to be done (diet, exercise, sleep). So, I put him on weight-watchers -- required he plan his menu each day and give me a written report of exactly everything he'd eaten
and the point total. He did this for 3 months and lost 25 pounds (so much easier for men...)
Now, I no longer have him on weight-watchers, but I do watch his weight. Each week I weigh him and if he's more
than 5 pounds above his ideal weight, the rule is he'll go back on weight-watchers. So far, he's kept it off.
Sleep: I also decided he needed 7.5 hours of sleep each night. He had been really bad about staying up watching TV (sports and history channel mostly). It was making him sleepy, irritable and I think even sick sometimes. It may affect his performance at work. So, I just decided to fix this issue as well while dealing with the eating and exercise issues. Now, Alex is required to be in bed every night by 10:00. That means he has to start getting ready for bed at around 9:45. And, he also has to wake up right at 5:30 so that he can work out, get ready for work and bring me a cup of coffee when I wake up at 6:45. There are exceptions to this schedule of course, but he has to let me know when the schedule needs to change. He doesn't just go to bed late or get up late (or earlier for that matter) without me knowing about it and approving it ahead of time.
Exercise: [I also put him on an exercise routine but I'll talk more about that another time since it's not relevant to what happened last night.]
OK, now all of this is so natural it runs along without either of us even noticing anymore. Alex is in bed each night at 10:00 and that's how it is. We'd only notice if he wasn't.But, once in a while I like (and he does too) to demonstrate my power in this area. Just to remind him how much in control I am.
So, for instance, if he puts too much of something on his plate, I'll make him put some of it back or whatever. Or, if he mentions he's doing something in the evening I might remind him of his bed time. Usually, I'll do this sort of thing privately just between us. It's a bit dangerous to flout my power in front of others as it risks humiliating my husband. Of course, that danger also makes it sort of fun/intoxicating to both of us as well.
So, yesterday evening a girlfriend was visiting. We were chatting away, drinking wine, and I suppose I got a bit tipsy. I know I was feeling pretty good. It was about 9:30 when I saw Alex in the kitchen getting a brownie. He'd already had one earlier for dessert and I was feeling like sort of showing off in front of my friend. So, I barked
rather sternly "Alex you know you can't have that brownie." Now, if he was really smart, he would have avoided the issue by saying he was getting it for one of the kids or making his lunch for tomorrow or 100 different things he could have come up with.
But, he didn't. Instead he said "why not?" So, now what was I supposed to say? I had to remind him that he has a strict diet and that also it is nearly his bed time. He got a bit red and sheepishly said, "well, I guess you have a point." He then quickly put the brownie away and disappeared (presumably to go to bed).
My girlfriend was sort of surprised by what she'd witnessed. I just told her that I'd put Alex on a strict diet and that's how he'd lost so much weight. She said, "wow, I wish my hubby would do that." Luckily she didn't inquire about the bed time thing or anything else as, given my intoxication I might have told her much, much more about
how my relationship with Alex works. Again, for now at least, I try to keep that (mostly) between Alex and I.
Anyway, it was a fun little incident and reminded me that needed to blog about how I control my husband's diet, sleep and workout schedules. Again, it's all good. He feels better and gets a kick out my control of him. And, it works for me too.
Friday, July 20, 2012
A Wonderful "Regular" Evening
Had wonderful night last night. After Alex got the kids to bed, he brought me a glass of wine. We were watching TV together when I told him I needed a relaxing bath. Alex went upstairs and prepared my bath. When it was ready, he came down and told me it was ready. I went up to our room, where he undressed me and led me to the tub. It was the perfect temperature (hot) and had lots of bubbles and salts.
Alex put headphones on my ears with my favorite relaxing music and I went into zen land. While I was there, Alex went to work, giving me a pedicure, manicure, and shaving my legs all the way, including some of my pubes. He shaved my underarms, all the while keeping the water warm. Then he left me alone.
When I came out of the bath, I found he'd set up the bed for a full body massage. He had towels on the bed which he asked me to lie on. Then he used warm oils to give me a full body massage from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head -- kissing everywhere as he went. He gave me some unrequested, but appreciated, tongue action in my vagina and I came hard. Then, I went to sleep.
What a great night!
Thanks Alex, you are the best.
Alex put headphones on my ears with my favorite relaxing music and I went into zen land. While I was there, Alex went to work, giving me a pedicure, manicure, and shaving my legs all the way, including some of my pubes. He shaved my underarms, all the while keeping the water warm. Then he left me alone.
When I came out of the bath, I found he'd set up the bed for a full body massage. He had towels on the bed which he asked me to lie on. Then he used warm oils to give me a full body massage from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head -- kissing everywhere as he went. He gave me some unrequested, but appreciated, tongue action in my vagina and I came hard. Then, I went to sleep.
What a great night!
Thanks Alex, you are the best.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Sample Husband "Slave For a Day" Schedule
I mentioned in an earlier post how Alex and I love playing "Slave for a Day." A reader asked me for ideas about what I have him do. So, here's a typical "Slave Day" in our house (again, the kids are at my parents house on slave days).
6:00 Alex wakes up and engages in a hard workout. I want him tired (but invigorated and fit) before he even begins his chores. He must run at least 3 miles on the treadmill at at least a 7 speed; do 3 sets of 15 pull-ups; 3 sets of 50 push-ups; 3 sets of 50 sit-ups; and 3 sets of work with his barbells (I don't know exactly what he does, but like what it does to his arms).
7:00 Alex collects all dirty clothes in the house and get's the laundry going. [Speaking of clothes, I select the clothes Alex is to wear while doing all this. I like to see him working wearing only tight underwear or a thong. But, if he has jobs that require him to go outside, then I'll have him wear sexy shorts and a t-shirt. If it's cold I might have him start off with more clothing on, but inevitably, he loses items (punishment) as time goes on and I find various infractions in his performance.]
7:15 Alex draws my bath. Right temperature, right bubbles, etc.
7:20 Alex gently wakes me up with kisses and whatever else I might desire at the time. On slave day Alex addresses me as "ma'am." He is to use as few words as possible when speaking to me and mostly he just says "yes ma'am." He is to always have a respectful tone of voice and eyes averted unless I tell him to look at me.
7:30 Alex checks/adjusts temperature in bath, let's me know when ready, I soak in tub.
7:31 Alex makes breakfast (of course keeping laundry going). Breakfast consists of my favorite omelette, fruit, juice and coffee. Alex sits on floor and eats a bowl of oatmeal and any scraps of food I share.
7:50 Alex delivers breakfast to me in the tub. He adjusts water temperature.
8:00 I tell Alex to get his list of chores so we can discuss any questions he has. I do the list the night before and keep it in my nightstand. Normally the list will include one major project -- like painting a room or completely cleaning and re-organizing the garage -- things I've been wanting to get done forever and just never happened.
The list always includes some yard work, mowing the grass, trimming bushes, whatever needs to be done. And, it always includes completely cleaning the house as well -- which is more or less work depending on the condition it's in. My goal, by the end of the day, is to have a very clean house, very nice looking yard and one or possibly two major projects completed -- without me doing any of it. Yes, hubby will have to work hard.
8:30 Alex is already busy on his chores having cleaned up breakfast and moved another load of wash. I have retired to the bedroom or living room (recliner) and am engrossed in my current book. Alex knows to come find me if he has questions. Sometimes I am specific about the order in which he does the chores, but usually I give him discretion to choose which to do first. The main thing is he better be working his ass off :) He can find me if he has any questions.
9:30 About this time I usually take a break from the book and check on Alex. I'm checking to be sure he's working hard and doing a good job. Sometimes we have different ideas about what that means and I might have to correct him. [I talked in an earlier post about how I do that and why he loves it. This is what makes all this fun for him too -- i.e. the swat on the butt or whatever....] Before leaving I tell Alex to bring me a glass of wine in a few minutes. Whatever glass he brings it in, I tell him it's the wrong one and he needs to repour in the correct glass, which he does. Such fun being queen of the castle! On this day, Alex has to do everything I require. The only correct reply to me is "yes ma'am." Well, or "so sorry, my queen, I will do better next time." Everything is more fun if we maintain that stern royal (me) and slave/submissive (Alex) demeanor throughout the day. Each time we do this I find some area to push this more in.
11:30 Alex makes lunch and brings to me on a tray. It's something light but requires some cooking. By now Alex is quite hungry and I want to keep his energy up -- so, he eats a full lunch with me. Of course, as always on "slave days" -- Alex sits at my feet when he eats and uses inferior plates and silverwear. After all, I'm the queen; he's the servant.
12:00 Alex cleans up, does dishes. I do whatever I want, but often will watch a movie at this point in the day. Once in a while I go visit a girlfriend or go get my nails done or something like that. Alex better be busy at work. He's still got tons to do.
3:00 By now, Alex should have most of his work done. Again, remember, from 6 AM on, he has been working his ass off and should be literally sweating when I check on him now. He should be a bit stressed as he's worried if he can finish it all before it's time to pick the kids up. If he's not, either I didn't give him enough work (my fault) or he hasn't done all of the work to my standards (his fault and the usual situation).
3:15 I tell Alex it appears he won't have time to get to his final "task" which is always to serve as my personal body slave. This is when he gives me a full body massage (head to toe) and I let things go from there... I warn Alex that I may need to bring in another slave for that. Of course, he assures me he can complete all the tasks, including that one, and I tell him he better pick up the pace.
4:00 Unless Alex really screwed up or was lazy (never happened yet) -- I'll release him from whatever he's still working on and tell him to meet me in the bedroom for his final task. And, we spend whatever time is left with Alex working as my personal (very) masseur, etc.
6:00 Kids arrive with mom. Everyone marvels at how much "we" got accomplished. I say dad was a big help. We both smile.
And that's how "slave day" goes. Fun and productive. Relaxing for me; great workout for Alex. Memorable for us both!
6:00 Alex wakes up and engages in a hard workout. I want him tired (but invigorated and fit) before he even begins his chores. He must run at least 3 miles on the treadmill at at least a 7 speed; do 3 sets of 15 pull-ups; 3 sets of 50 push-ups; 3 sets of 50 sit-ups; and 3 sets of work with his barbells (I don't know exactly what he does, but like what it does to his arms).
7:00 Alex collects all dirty clothes in the house and get's the laundry going. [Speaking of clothes, I select the clothes Alex is to wear while doing all this. I like to see him working wearing only tight underwear or a thong. But, if he has jobs that require him to go outside, then I'll have him wear sexy shorts and a t-shirt. If it's cold I might have him start off with more clothing on, but inevitably, he loses items (punishment) as time goes on and I find various infractions in his performance.]
7:15 Alex draws my bath. Right temperature, right bubbles, etc.
7:20 Alex gently wakes me up with kisses and whatever else I might desire at the time. On slave day Alex addresses me as "ma'am." He is to use as few words as possible when speaking to me and mostly he just says "yes ma'am." He is to always have a respectful tone of voice and eyes averted unless I tell him to look at me.
7:30 Alex checks/adjusts temperature in bath, let's me know when ready, I soak in tub.
7:31 Alex makes breakfast (of course keeping laundry going). Breakfast consists of my favorite omelette, fruit, juice and coffee. Alex sits on floor and eats a bowl of oatmeal and any scraps of food I share.
7:50 Alex delivers breakfast to me in the tub. He adjusts water temperature.
8:00 I tell Alex to get his list of chores so we can discuss any questions he has. I do the list the night before and keep it in my nightstand. Normally the list will include one major project -- like painting a room or completely cleaning and re-organizing the garage -- things I've been wanting to get done forever and just never happened.
The list always includes some yard work, mowing the grass, trimming bushes, whatever needs to be done. And, it always includes completely cleaning the house as well -- which is more or less work depending on the condition it's in. My goal, by the end of the day, is to have a very clean house, very nice looking yard and one or possibly two major projects completed -- without me doing any of it. Yes, hubby will have to work hard.
8:30 Alex is already busy on his chores having cleaned up breakfast and moved another load of wash. I have retired to the bedroom or living room (recliner) and am engrossed in my current book. Alex knows to come find me if he has questions. Sometimes I am specific about the order in which he does the chores, but usually I give him discretion to choose which to do first. The main thing is he better be working his ass off :) He can find me if he has any questions.
9:30 About this time I usually take a break from the book and check on Alex. I'm checking to be sure he's working hard and doing a good job. Sometimes we have different ideas about what that means and I might have to correct him. [I talked in an earlier post about how I do that and why he loves it. This is what makes all this fun for him too -- i.e. the swat on the butt or whatever....] Before leaving I tell Alex to bring me a glass of wine in a few minutes. Whatever glass he brings it in, I tell him it's the wrong one and he needs to repour in the correct glass, which he does. Such fun being queen of the castle! On this day, Alex has to do everything I require. The only correct reply to me is "yes ma'am." Well, or "so sorry, my queen, I will do better next time." Everything is more fun if we maintain that stern royal (me) and slave/submissive (Alex) demeanor throughout the day. Each time we do this I find some area to push this more in.
11:30 Alex makes lunch and brings to me on a tray. It's something light but requires some cooking. By now Alex is quite hungry and I want to keep his energy up -- so, he eats a full lunch with me. Of course, as always on "slave days" -- Alex sits at my feet when he eats and uses inferior plates and silverwear. After all, I'm the queen; he's the servant.
12:00 Alex cleans up, does dishes. I do whatever I want, but often will watch a movie at this point in the day. Once in a while I go visit a girlfriend or go get my nails done or something like that. Alex better be busy at work. He's still got tons to do.
3:00 By now, Alex should have most of his work done. Again, remember, from 6 AM on, he has been working his ass off and should be literally sweating when I check on him now. He should be a bit stressed as he's worried if he can finish it all before it's time to pick the kids up. If he's not, either I didn't give him enough work (my fault) or he hasn't done all of the work to my standards (his fault and the usual situation).
3:15 I tell Alex it appears he won't have time to get to his final "task" which is always to serve as my personal body slave. This is when he gives me a full body massage (head to toe) and I let things go from there... I warn Alex that I may need to bring in another slave for that. Of course, he assures me he can complete all the tasks, including that one, and I tell him he better pick up the pace.
4:00 Unless Alex really screwed up or was lazy (never happened yet) -- I'll release him from whatever he's still working on and tell him to meet me in the bedroom for his final task. And, we spend whatever time is left with Alex working as my personal (very) masseur, etc.
6:00 Kids arrive with mom. Everyone marvels at how much "we" got accomplished. I say dad was a big help. We both smile.
And that's how "slave day" goes. Fun and productive. Relaxing for me; great workout for Alex. Memorable for us both!
Oral Sex
Some women love it, some don't. Those who don't mostly have inhibitions about it that prevent them from fully enjoying it. There is simply no reason that a man (with a tongue) can't bring a woman to multiple orgasms through oral sex. That is not always true of regular sex. Oral sex is like a guaranteed and easy orgasm for a woman. You don't have to do anything, you can lie there and let your man do all the work. And, again, like with household chores, his sex drive will kick in and he will love it too. A man can generally only have a strong erection and ejaculation once every 2 or 3 days. He can give good oral sex as often as you like. So, there are many advantages.
It's also important for a man to associate pleasing his wife with sex. Again, for the man, it's all about his sex drive. You want as much of that sex drive to be funnelled into pleasing you as possible. Whether by housework or oral sex or whatever. Pleasing you equals sexual pleasure and ultimately release for him. I require that Alex give me 5 orgasms for every orgasm I allow him. Obviously, that can only happen if Alex gives me lots of oral sex. I never give it to him as I want to save his orgasms for our regular sex.
But, you need to take control of the oral sex. Tell your man what to do and how to do it. You don't have to verbalize it, you can communicate plenty well enough by guiding his head as he goes to work with his tongue.
I tell Alex to be diligent and eager when he gives me head. This isn't a problem because he loves it. But, that's the idea. Diligent and eager. He should take his time exploring your entire vagina with his tongue. He should try flick his tongue up behind your pubic bone, if he can reach. Maybe stick his fingers in at the same time. Just have him do what feels good to you.
Put your hand behind his head and guide it to where it feels good for you. Take your time, go slow. But, when the time comes, really push his head into your vagina. Sometimes I'll use both my hands to push Alex's head so hard that he can no longer breathe, then I squeeze his head with my inner thighs as hard as I can. And I tell Alex I won't release him until I've come -- HARD. Believe me, his tongue is working plenty hard at this point. Often, after I've come and released him, his head is purplish due to lack of oxygen I guess -- but, it's great fun for us both.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
How To Harness a Man's Sex Drive
Following up on my first post, I don't think I clarified well enough exactly how to harness the male sex drive so that it is used to make life wonderful for everyone in a family. You've got to use it to focus your man on pleasing you (his spouse/girlfriend) and thereby spending his time efficiently and productively on things that benefit you, your marriage/relationship and your family as a whole.
The truth is that unless that sex drive is bridled/harnessed it will lead a man to be unproductive or worse get into trouble. Think of all the men in the public eye who get into trouble due to "acting out" sexually. Tiger Woods, John Edwards, I could name hundreds, all men. Not that women never have sex issues -- but the male sex drive creates lots more problems -- and opportunities.
But, if it can be focused into pleasing one woman (you) -- wow, that's great for you and him too. He doesn't need to waste hours, even days, pursuing fantasies on-line or elsewhere. Fantasies that could cause him and those he loves harm. He can have all his fantasies fulfilled, right here, in his real-life relationship with you; that you control. You are happy and he is too. And, both of you more productive as well. Think how much reading you can get done while he does the housework :)
OK, but how do you harness that sex drive? Here's the deal, immediately after sex (and depending on age maybe for the next 24 hours) the man has little or no sex drive. It begins to build at about the 24 hour mark, is strong at 48 hours and really strong at 72 hours. At that point, he is doing everything he can to please you and he is very, very susceptible to your guidance. That is the time you want to introduce new things you want him to do. Like if you want him to take over the laundry, that's when to ask him if he'd do that. He'll agree. He'll agree to nearly anything you want at that point.
This http://www.rwddh.com/rwddh.pdf discusses manual stimulation/conversation
pdf talks about having these really important, life-altering, discussions while you are on top of your man, slowly manipulating his penis. You want to make it hard, but not allow him to reach orgasm. You can literally do this for hours if need be. He'll enjoy it and be on edge the whole time. During that time, he will agree to anything you suggest. Believe me. I've used this method a few times -- like when I got Alex to agree that I would set his schedule each week. He feebly protested at first, but, when I agreed that I'd give him some free time, he went along. Of course now, even that has ended, but more about that another time....
But, for the most part, as long as your husband has not had an orgasm for at least 48 hours, he'll be cooperative with you, with our without penis stimulation.
Now, a tricky thing is when do you allow him to orgasm. As we've noted, after that happens, he's no longer "on edge" and no longer nearly as interested in pleasing you. In time, this won't matter so much as you'll have your authority well established and the household running as you want it to, so, it's not like he's going to suddenly revert to the way he was before you started any of this. If he did that would be a major problem that would require a severe response -- like making him stay somewhere alone to "think about it." Or even a literal spanking over your knee. But, anyway, none of that will probably be needed once you have established these new roles, which again, your husband will be really into as long as you have kept it all tied to his sex drive by telling how it turns you on when he does these things the way you want and how it just makes sense anyway, etc.
Still, while I've not had to seriously resort to orgasm denial (though we do play with the idea from time to time, for instance I might threaten it if Alex fails to do something I wanted him to do...he'll say, "sorry ma'am" and that's enough in our relationship) -- some women have found it helpful to severely restrict when her man has an orgasm. They have found it works better for everyone if he is denied release for weeks (some even go months) at a time. They have found it makes their man almost like a puppy dog, desperate for a treat, and gives them a feeling of great power. Again, it's too much for me, but interesting none the less and useful to know these options exist.
I've found the two primary ways this is done is first through chastity as discussed at http://www.aboutflr.com/Guided-Training.html and she keeps the key (the power). Another way is through http://www.aboutflr.com/issues/Discuss-prostate-milking.html prostate milking. Apparently it forces the man's semen out without an orgasm, leaving him on edge, unable to have an erection, until he's build up sufficient semen. I might like to try out both of these things sometime, just for fun. But, not seriously. Things are going too well now so I don't want to rock the boat too much...
Here's a great article about the science behind male chastity.
Oh, here's another resource about managing a man's orgasm. There's tons of this stuff out there if you look.
http://lovingfemaleauthority.blogspot.com/2005/07/power-of-managing-his-orgasms.html
Monday, July 9, 2012
Male Sex Drive is Key to Blissful Marriage
Hi, I'm Emily and my husband is Alex. After some early struggles, we now have a fantastic marriage that we both love. We talk more than ever, share more than ever, have more fun than ever and simply love each other more every day.
I'm going to share with you how I did it and you can do. It's all about learning how to harness the powerful sex drive that every man is born with.
There's really nothing new to this. You've heard the old saying that a girl shouldn't give away the milk unless the man buys the cow (or something like that...).
Have you noticed how nice your husband is to you when he wants sex (i.e. after it's been a few days since you had it)? He is attentive and sweet and nice. Then, after sex he sort of lays there, less interested in you. This is all biological. You man has a biological need for sexual release and once it's fulfilled he no longer has that same desire to give you attention and please you.
Women, you must understand that you have the power to make your marriage wonderful for you and your husband. In this way, every good marriage is "wife-led". It's After reading this blog, if you don't use your power to make your marriage wonderful, you have only yourself to blame. In the big picture, it really is the woman who holds the reigns to the marriage and, in my opinion, if the marriage is not good, it's most often the fault of the woman -- because she is not fulfilling the sexual needs of her man.
I'm not saying you have to have sex every day if you don't want to or anything like that. In fact, it could be more rewarding to you and your husband if, at least sometimes, you deny him sex -- even for long periods. Some women deny their man for weeks or even months -- in order to keep him on edge, keep him focused on making her happy; pleasing her. Of course, to do that, there has to be lots of "sexual stuff" going on in the relationship that is satisfying the man's sex drive -- even without actual release.
The bottom line is, by understanding and harnessing a man's sex drive, you can have sex any way you want, whenever you want. And, maybe even more importantly, your man will do everything he can to make you happy (i.e. housework, errands, take care of kids, etc). And all this happens and you both are enjoying the heck out of it and getting what you each need.
BUT, the thing you can't do is ignore sex. If you do that, your man will fulfill his sexual needs, one way or another, without you.
After getting lucky (I playfully "ordered" my husband to vacuum the bedroom, his submissive response surprised me and got me thinking...) and then spending lots of time researching (I found that most men have mostly repressed submissive tendencies) and then talking to my husband -- I think I have men (well most of them anyway) figured out and know how to control them. Seriously. It's all about understanding the incredible power of the male sex drive. I think God gave it to men as a tool their wives could use to get what they need from their husbands -- and ensure a mutually beneficial, rewarding and simply AWESOME marriage. The knowledge I'll share here actually could save a lot of marriages that end when a husband becomes sexually bored, strays, and ultimately the marriage ends in divorce.
And, when I say "strays" I really don't necessarily mean an extra-marital affair. Although, certainly that is where it most often ends up. But, it always starts first with the man's sexual needs not being fulfilled and he then looks to fulfill them in ways outside of the marriage. Usually, this will start with the man looking at porn
and masterbating.
Many women say -- who cares? I'm tired and don't feel like sex. So, if he needs to "get off" on his own, have at it.
That's a huge, huge mistake. The man's desire for sexual release is the thing that will make him do the things you want him to do to meet your own needs. So, when his sexual needs are met outside of the marriage, it is much less likely that he will work to meet your needs.
Most men, depending on age, health, etc -- will feel a desire for sexual release every 48 hours or so. Once they get to 72 hours without release, they really, really are "horny". At this point, that desire for sexual release becomes more like a true need. Ladies, you probably know what I mean. Your husband will snuggle up close and make a move. If you deny him at that point, without any consideration of his physical (and physiological) need for sexual release -- that is the point where problems develop.
Now your "consideration" of his needs can take many, many forms. Again, you don't have to have sex if you don't want to. But, you can't ignore it and allow him to go off and masterbate (or worse, have an affair) on his own.
If that happens, your marriage is on the road to ruin. And, it was your fault for not addressing his needs. Yes, it's his fault too. Certainly he could have just gone to sleep without relieving his sexual tension. But, that's probably not going to happen in the long run -- unless you require it.
OK, so you are wondering how you can "address his needs" without having sex. After all, sometimes you just don't feel like it.
You can address his needs simply by acknowledging them. You can say, "honey, I know you are horny, but I'm not. But, if you are a good boy and wait till tomorrow, I'll make it worth your while. When you say "good boy" it should be understood between you that he is not allowed to masterbate on his own. Your husband must understand he is not allowed sexual release outside of your presence. If he does, there will be harsh consequences (i.e. no sex for a week; maybe require him to wear a chastity lock and you keep the key).
Maybe you are beginning to sense the bigger picture that sex is at the center of your relationship with your husband -- whether you like it or not. But, you can take the reins by controlling it, and thereby -- him.
I have used this concept to get my husband to do everything I ever dreamed of -- including his fair share [(actually much more than his fair share, but don't tell him :)] of the housework.
So, in the scenario above, I would think of some minor misdeed he did over the past few days. Maybe he let the laundry pile up or by bath was not warm enough or he didn't have the bed made on time. Maybe I discovered dust on a shelf that he said he'd dusted.
OK, so, I would tell him that we wouldn't be having sex that night because of this issue. Or he won't be getting "release." In doing so, I am not simply ignoring his needs. Rather I'm acknowledging them and using it to get him to do better next time. My husband finds this sort of "training" erotic and enjoys the "game." Of course, now it's much more than a game, it's the way we live. He is in constant training and always eager to please me. I reward him when he deserves it and I feel like it.
Of course, it's important to keep the sexual tension in the air. You can't just tell your husband to clean the house (every room, top to bottom) while you sip on a glass of wine (that he served) and read a book -- unless he's getting something out of it.
The crazy thing, is it's very, very easy for him to get something (actually a lot) out of it. And LOVE it. I'm serious.
We "play" lots of "games" that generally revolve around my dominance and his submission. These games are sexual turn-ons for both of us and more and more what happens in the games drifts over into "real life."
One of the "games" Alex and I most enjoy (when our son and daughter are out of the house -- maybe at grandmom's or even a play date) -- I'll say ok honey, here's a great chance to get some work done around
the house without kids in the way.
Now he grins mischievously when I say that because he knows what's coming. What's coming is I either give him a list of specific tasks to complete or simply tell him to clean the house from top to bottom, every room. His job is to clean; my job is to instruct, inspect and reward or punish. See, we are working together :)
I tell him to get me a glass of wine and I sit in the recliner and read a book or watch a movie, whatever I feel like doing. This is truly a day off for me. Meanwhile, Alex goes to work. And, it's not just a game. I really do want him to get a lot done. During these times (when we are alone, without kids or others around) I have him always address me as "ma'am" or "my queen." So, it's "yes ma'am" or "yes, my queen"; even "yes, mistress." He never argues or complains or whines, just "yes ma'am." And, I address him only with a serious, relatively stern tone. It's interesting (and thrilling for me) as time goes on to see Alex accept his servant/slave role more and more readily. All the walls and barriers slip away and it's just me and him, queen and servant. I love those times. And, importantly, so does he.
When he thinks he's completed a task to standard (my standard) he comes to me and asks for an inspection. He can't move to the next task or room until I've approved the current one so he has incentive to work fast and do a good job -- it's the only way he'll ever finish.
I inspect and inevitably find some deficiency, however minor, in the job he did. The "punishment" is that he must remove an article of clothing from his body. Sometimes, I'll tell him to get back to work and do it right this time, other times he can immediately correct the problem and move to the next room or task. I really do want him to get all of his tasks done so I really don't want him to spend all day in one room.
Anyway, we just continue along like this for hours, me relaxing, inspecting, correcting, punishing or rewarding.
Often, when I check in on him, I'll encourage him with a pat or squeeze on the butt, tell him to keep it up. Or, if there's something he missed, then I might slap his ass. Either way, it's so cute I find it irresistable. And, he loves it too of course.
Eventually, as things move along, Alex inevitably is down to just his underwear. I can't tell you how sexy he looks and how powerful and sexy I feel when I see him down on all fours, scrubbing the floor (I personally don't allow him to use mops for that task) in his skin-tight underwear. Normally, by this time, his manhood is
protruding rather obviously and I might tell him to get his mind out of the gutter and get back to work, or something like that. He can only say "yes my queen."
Throughout the day, Alex is very turned on and very energetic. I really am always surprised by how much he gets done. He really has great stamina -- especially when trying to impress his mistress. Sometimes, he's able to really clean the entire house in only a couple hours. I love when he is working so hard that he actually is sweating. In fact, often I tell him he's not working hard enough until he's sweating. It's a good workout for him. And, visually appealing for me watching my sexy, sweaty husband serving me in nothing but a thong. (I always make him at least keep a thong on so he doesn't "dribble" on the clean floors.)
After all tasks are completed to standard (note he has gotten better and better and faster and faster at these things the more he does them, so I have to raise my standards), then I order Alex to service me (full body massage, multiple orgasms through oral sex, etc) and then, if he's very, very good (and he usually is) then he gets an orgasm himself.
Of course, now Alex associates housework with submission to me and sexual release and pleasure for him. So, housework, even outside of our games, has become a pleasant thing for him to do. Now, every morning, when Alex awakes, the first thing he does is make our bed (if I'm already up) and pick up our bedroom and bathroom (I usually leave my clothes on the floor now). I used to comment to him about what a good job he did with that. Now, I don't comment unless he misses something. He says, "sorry, I'll do better next time." He does that in sort of a joking way, but sort of not if you know what I mean. And, whatever, bottom line is he enjoys doing it, gets some sexual pleasure from it, and so do I and the work is done. I never make the bed; never pick up clothes; and rarely even help with the laundry any more. That's all Alex' domain. And he loves doing it. Can you see what a great marriage we have?
So, the bottom line is you can have everything you want out of your relationship with your husband. Absolutely everything. If you understand how he is made. Most importantly, you've got to understand his sex drive and how to use it to make your marriage exciting and rewarding -- for both of you.
Again, please understand, your husband will love serving you just as much, if not more, than you love being served. So, in a way, you're doing this for him :) You will have a better, closer, more fun and lively relationship. Give a try and see how it goes. You can always decide not to proceed. But, I bet you will be pleasantly surprised at how well it goes; how much you and he enjoy your new relationship.
I'm going to share with you how I did it and you can do. It's all about learning how to harness the powerful sex drive that every man is born with.
There's really nothing new to this. You've heard the old saying that a girl shouldn't give away the milk unless the man buys the cow (or something like that...).
Have you noticed how nice your husband is to you when he wants sex (i.e. after it's been a few days since you had it)? He is attentive and sweet and nice. Then, after sex he sort of lays there, less interested in you. This is all biological. You man has a biological need for sexual release and once it's fulfilled he no longer has that same desire to give you attention and please you.
Women, you must understand that you have the power to make your marriage wonderful for you and your husband. In this way, every good marriage is "wife-led". It's After reading this blog, if you don't use your power to make your marriage wonderful, you have only yourself to blame. In the big picture, it really is the woman who holds the reigns to the marriage and, in my opinion, if the marriage is not good, it's most often the fault of the woman -- because she is not fulfilling the sexual needs of her man.
I'm not saying you have to have sex every day if you don't want to or anything like that. In fact, it could be more rewarding to you and your husband if, at least sometimes, you deny him sex -- even for long periods. Some women deny their man for weeks or even months -- in order to keep him on edge, keep him focused on making her happy; pleasing her. Of course, to do that, there has to be lots of "sexual stuff" going on in the relationship that is satisfying the man's sex drive -- even without actual release.
The bottom line is, by understanding and harnessing a man's sex drive, you can have sex any way you want, whenever you want. And, maybe even more importantly, your man will do everything he can to make you happy (i.e. housework, errands, take care of kids, etc). And all this happens and you both are enjoying the heck out of it and getting what you each need.
BUT, the thing you can't do is ignore sex. If you do that, your man will fulfill his sexual needs, one way or another, without you.
After getting lucky (I playfully "ordered" my husband to vacuum the bedroom, his submissive response surprised me and got me thinking...) and then spending lots of time researching (I found that most men have mostly repressed submissive tendencies) and then talking to my husband -- I think I have men (well most of them anyway) figured out and know how to control them. Seriously. It's all about understanding the incredible power of the male sex drive. I think God gave it to men as a tool their wives could use to get what they need from their husbands -- and ensure a mutually beneficial, rewarding and simply AWESOME marriage. The knowledge I'll share here actually could save a lot of marriages that end when a husband becomes sexually bored, strays, and ultimately the marriage ends in divorce.
And, when I say "strays" I really don't necessarily mean an extra-marital affair. Although, certainly that is where it most often ends up. But, it always starts first with the man's sexual needs not being fulfilled and he then looks to fulfill them in ways outside of the marriage. Usually, this will start with the man looking at porn
and masterbating.
Many women say -- who cares? I'm tired and don't feel like sex. So, if he needs to "get off" on his own, have at it.
That's a huge, huge mistake. The man's desire for sexual release is the thing that will make him do the things you want him to do to meet your own needs. So, when his sexual needs are met outside of the marriage, it is much less likely that he will work to meet your needs.
Most men, depending on age, health, etc -- will feel a desire for sexual release every 48 hours or so. Once they get to 72 hours without release, they really, really are "horny". At this point, that desire for sexual release becomes more like a true need. Ladies, you probably know what I mean. Your husband will snuggle up close and make a move. If you deny him at that point, without any consideration of his physical (and physiological) need for sexual release -- that is the point where problems develop.
Now your "consideration" of his needs can take many, many forms. Again, you don't have to have sex if you don't want to. But, you can't ignore it and allow him to go off and masterbate (or worse, have an affair) on his own.
If that happens, your marriage is on the road to ruin. And, it was your fault for not addressing his needs. Yes, it's his fault too. Certainly he could have just gone to sleep without relieving his sexual tension. But, that's probably not going to happen in the long run -- unless you require it.
OK, so you are wondering how you can "address his needs" without having sex. After all, sometimes you just don't feel like it.
You can address his needs simply by acknowledging them. You can say, "honey, I know you are horny, but I'm not. But, if you are a good boy and wait till tomorrow, I'll make it worth your while. When you say "good boy" it should be understood between you that he is not allowed to masterbate on his own. Your husband must understand he is not allowed sexual release outside of your presence. If he does, there will be harsh consequences (i.e. no sex for a week; maybe require him to wear a chastity lock and you keep the key).
Maybe you are beginning to sense the bigger picture that sex is at the center of your relationship with your husband -- whether you like it or not. But, you can take the reins by controlling it, and thereby -- him.
I have used this concept to get my husband to do everything I ever dreamed of -- including his fair share [(actually much more than his fair share, but don't tell him :)] of the housework.
So, in the scenario above, I would think of some minor misdeed he did over the past few days. Maybe he let the laundry pile up or by bath was not warm enough or he didn't have the bed made on time. Maybe I discovered dust on a shelf that he said he'd dusted.
OK, so, I would tell him that we wouldn't be having sex that night because of this issue. Or he won't be getting "release." In doing so, I am not simply ignoring his needs. Rather I'm acknowledging them and using it to get him to do better next time. My husband finds this sort of "training" erotic and enjoys the "game." Of course, now it's much more than a game, it's the way we live. He is in constant training and always eager to please me. I reward him when he deserves it and I feel like it.
Of course, it's important to keep the sexual tension in the air. You can't just tell your husband to clean the house (every room, top to bottom) while you sip on a glass of wine (that he served) and read a book -- unless he's getting something out of it.
The crazy thing, is it's very, very easy for him to get something (actually a lot) out of it. And LOVE it. I'm serious.
We "play" lots of "games" that generally revolve around my dominance and his submission. These games are sexual turn-ons for both of us and more and more what happens in the games drifts over into "real life."
One of the "games" Alex and I most enjoy (when our son and daughter are out of the house -- maybe at grandmom's or even a play date) -- I'll say ok honey, here's a great chance to get some work done around
the house without kids in the way.
Now he grins mischievously when I say that because he knows what's coming. What's coming is I either give him a list of specific tasks to complete or simply tell him to clean the house from top to bottom, every room. His job is to clean; my job is to instruct, inspect and reward or punish. See, we are working together :)
I tell him to get me a glass of wine and I sit in the recliner and read a book or watch a movie, whatever I feel like doing. This is truly a day off for me. Meanwhile, Alex goes to work. And, it's not just a game. I really do want him to get a lot done. During these times (when we are alone, without kids or others around) I have him always address me as "ma'am" or "my queen." So, it's "yes ma'am" or "yes, my queen"; even "yes, mistress." He never argues or complains or whines, just "yes ma'am." And, I address him only with a serious, relatively stern tone. It's interesting (and thrilling for me) as time goes on to see Alex accept his servant/slave role more and more readily. All the walls and barriers slip away and it's just me and him, queen and servant. I love those times. And, importantly, so does he.
When he thinks he's completed a task to standard (my standard) he comes to me and asks for an inspection. He can't move to the next task or room until I've approved the current one so he has incentive to work fast and do a good job -- it's the only way he'll ever finish.
I inspect and inevitably find some deficiency, however minor, in the job he did. The "punishment" is that he must remove an article of clothing from his body. Sometimes, I'll tell him to get back to work and do it right this time, other times he can immediately correct the problem and move to the next room or task. I really do want him to get all of his tasks done so I really don't want him to spend all day in one room.
Anyway, we just continue along like this for hours, me relaxing, inspecting, correcting, punishing or rewarding.
Often, when I check in on him, I'll encourage him with a pat or squeeze on the butt, tell him to keep it up. Or, if there's something he missed, then I might slap his ass. Either way, it's so cute I find it irresistable. And, he loves it too of course.
Eventually, as things move along, Alex inevitably is down to just his underwear. I can't tell you how sexy he looks and how powerful and sexy I feel when I see him down on all fours, scrubbing the floor (I personally don't allow him to use mops for that task) in his skin-tight underwear. Normally, by this time, his manhood is
protruding rather obviously and I might tell him to get his mind out of the gutter and get back to work, or something like that. He can only say "yes my queen."
Throughout the day, Alex is very turned on and very energetic. I really am always surprised by how much he gets done. He really has great stamina -- especially when trying to impress his mistress. Sometimes, he's able to really clean the entire house in only a couple hours. I love when he is working so hard that he actually is sweating. In fact, often I tell him he's not working hard enough until he's sweating. It's a good workout for him. And, visually appealing for me watching my sexy, sweaty husband serving me in nothing but a thong. (I always make him at least keep a thong on so he doesn't "dribble" on the clean floors.)
After all tasks are completed to standard (note he has gotten better and better and faster and faster at these things the more he does them, so I have to raise my standards), then I order Alex to service me (full body massage, multiple orgasms through oral sex, etc) and then, if he's very, very good (and he usually is) then he gets an orgasm himself.
Of course, now Alex associates housework with submission to me and sexual release and pleasure for him. So, housework, even outside of our games, has become a pleasant thing for him to do. Now, every morning, when Alex awakes, the first thing he does is make our bed (if I'm already up) and pick up our bedroom and bathroom (I usually leave my clothes on the floor now). I used to comment to him about what a good job he did with that. Now, I don't comment unless he misses something. He says, "sorry, I'll do better next time." He does that in sort of a joking way, but sort of not if you know what I mean. And, whatever, bottom line is he enjoys doing it, gets some sexual pleasure from it, and so do I and the work is done. I never make the bed; never pick up clothes; and rarely even help with the laundry any more. That's all Alex' domain. And he loves doing it. Can you see what a great marriage we have?
So, the bottom line is you can have everything you want out of your relationship with your husband. Absolutely everything. If you understand how he is made. Most importantly, you've got to understand his sex drive and how to use it to make your marriage exciting and rewarding -- for both of you.
Again, please understand, your husband will love serving you just as much, if not more, than you love being served. So, in a way, you're doing this for him :) You will have a better, closer, more fun and lively relationship. Give a try and see how it goes. You can always decide not to proceed. But, I bet you will be pleasantly surprised at how well it goes; how much you and he enjoy your new relationship.
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