Male Sex Drive is Key to Blissful Marriage

Hi, I'm  Emily and my husband is Alex.  After some early struggles, we now have a fantastic marriage that we both love.  We talk more than ever, share more than ever, have more fun than ever and simply love each other more every day.

I'm going to share with you how I did it and you can do.   It's all about learning how to harness the powerful sex drive that every man is born with.

There's really nothing new to this.  You've heard the old saying that a girl shouldn't give away the milk unless the man buys the cow (or something like that...).

Have you noticed how nice your husband is to you when he wants sex (i.e. after it's been a few days since you had it)?  He is attentive and sweet and nice.  Then, after sex he sort of lays there, less interested in you. This is all biological.  You man has a biological need for sexual release and once it's fulfilled he no longer has that same desire to give you attention and please you.

Women, you must understand that you have the power to make your marriage wonderful for you and your husband.  In this way, every good marriage is "wife-led".  It's   After reading this blog, if you don't use your power to make your marriage wonderful, you have only yourself to blame.  In the big picture, it really is the woman who holds the reigns to the marriage and, in my opinion, if the marriage is not good, it's most often the fault of the woman -- because she is not fulfilling the sexual needs of her man.

I'm not saying you have to have sex every day if you don't want to or anything like that.  In fact, it could be more rewarding to you and your husband if, at least sometimes, you deny him sex -- even for long periods. Some women deny their man for weeks or even months -- in order to keep him on edge, keep him focused on making her happy; pleasing her.  Of course, to do that, there has to be lots of "sexual stuff" going on in the relationship that is satisfying the man's sex drive -- even without actual release.

The bottom line is, by understanding and harnessing a man's sex drive, you can have sex any way you want, whenever you want.  And, maybe even more importantly, your man will do everything he can to make you happy (i.e. housework, errands, take care of kids, etc).  And all this happens and you both are enjoying the heck out of it and getting what you each need.

BUT, the thing you can't do is ignore sex.  If you do that, your man will fulfill his sexual needs, one way or another, without you.

After getting lucky (I playfully "ordered" my husband to vacuum the bedroom, his submissive response surprised me and got me thinking...) and then spending lots of time researching (I found that most men have mostly repressed submissive tendencies) and then talking to my husband -- I think I have men (well most of them anyway) figured out and know how to control them.  Seriously.  It's all about understanding the incredible power of the male sex drive.  I think God gave it to men as a tool their wives could use to get what they need from their husbands -- and ensure a mutually beneficial, rewarding and simply AWESOME marriage.  The knowledge I'll share here actually could save a lot of marriages that end when a husband becomes sexually bored, strays, and ultimately the marriage ends in divorce.

And, when I say "strays" I really don't necessarily mean an extra-marital affair.  Although, certainly that is where it most often ends up.  But, it always starts first with the man's sexual needs not being fulfilled and he then looks to fulfill them in ways outside of the marriage.  Usually, this will start with the man looking at porn
and masterbating.

Many women say -- who cares?  I'm tired and don't feel like sex.  So, if he needs to "get off" on his own, have at it.

That's a huge, huge mistake.  The man's desire for sexual release is the thing that will make him do the things you want him to do to meet your own needs.  So, when his sexual needs are met outside of the marriage, it is much less likely that he will work to meet your needs.

Most men, depending on age, health, etc -- will feel a desire for sexual release every 48 hours or so.  Once they get to 72 hours without release, they really, really are "horny".  At this point, that desire for sexual release becomes more like a true need.  Ladies, you probably know what I mean.  Your husband will snuggle up close and make a move.  If you deny him at that point, without any consideration of his physical (and physiological) need for sexual release -- that is the point where problems develop.

Now your "consideration" of his needs can take many, many forms.  Again, you don't have to have sex if you don't want to.  But, you can't ignore it and allow him to go off and masterbate (or worse, have an affair) on his own.

If that happens, your marriage is on the road to ruin.  And, it was your fault for not addressing his needs.  Yes, it's his fault too. Certainly he could have just gone to sleep without relieving his sexual tension.  But, that's probably not going to happen in the long run -- unless you require it.

OK, so you are wondering how you can "address his needs" without having sex.  After all, sometimes you just don't feel like it.

You can address his needs simply by acknowledging them.  You can say, "honey, I know you are horny, but I'm not.  But, if you are a good boy and wait till tomorrow, I'll make it worth your while.  When you say "good boy" it should be understood between you that he is not allowed to masterbate on his own.  Your husband must understand he is not allowed sexual release outside of your presence.   If he does, there will be harsh consequences (i.e. no sex for a week; maybe require him to wear a chastity lock and you keep the key).

Maybe you are beginning to sense the bigger picture that sex is at the center of your relationship with your husband -- whether you like it or not.  But, you can take the reins by controlling it, and thereby -- him.

I have used this concept to get my husband to do everything I ever dreamed of -- including his fair share [(actually much more than his fair share, but don't tell him :)]  of the housework.

So, in the scenario above, I would think of some minor misdeed he did over the past few days.  Maybe he let the laundry pile up or by bath was not warm enough or he didn't have the bed made on time.  Maybe I discovered dust on a shelf that he said he'd dusted.

OK, so, I would tell him that we wouldn't be having sex that night because of this issue. Or he won't be getting "release."   In doing so, I am not simply ignoring his needs.  Rather I'm acknowledging them and using it to get him to do better next time.   My husband finds this sort of "training" erotic and enjoys the "game."  Of course, now it's much more than a game, it's the way we live.  He is in constant training and always eager to please me.  I reward him when he deserves it and I feel like it.

Of course, it's important to keep the sexual tension in the air.  You can't just tell your husband to clean the house (every room, top to bottom) while you sip on a glass of wine (that he served) and read a book -- unless he's getting something out of it.

The crazy thing, is it's very, very easy for him to get something (actually a lot) out of it.  And LOVE it.  I'm serious.

We "play" lots of "games" that generally revolve around my dominance and his submission.  These games are sexual turn-ons for both of us and more and more what happens in the games drifts over into "real life."

One of the "games" Alex and I most enjoy (when our son and daughter are out of the house -- maybe at grandmom's or even a play date) -- I'll say ok honey, here's a great chance to get some work done around
the house without kids in the way.

Now he grins mischievously when I say that because he knows what's coming.  What's coming is I either give him a list of specific tasks to complete or simply tell him to clean the house from top to bottom, every room.  His job is to clean; my job is to instruct, inspect and reward or punish.  See, we are working together :)

I tell him to get me a glass of wine and I sit in the recliner and read a book or watch a movie, whatever I feel like doing.  This is truly a day off for me.  Meanwhile, Alex goes to work.  And, it's not just a game.  I really do want him to get a lot done.  During these times (when we are alone, without kids or others around) I have him always address me as "ma'am" or "my queen."  So, it's "yes ma'am" or "yes, my queen"; even "yes, mistress."   He never argues or complains or whines, just "yes ma'am."  And, I address him only with a serious, relatively stern tone.  It's interesting (and thrilling for me) as time goes on to see Alex accept his servant/slave role more and more readily.  All the walls and barriers slip away and it's just me and him, queen and servant.  I love those times.  And, importantly, so does he.

When he thinks he's completed a task to standard (my standard) he comes to me and asks for an inspection. He can't move to the next task or room until I've approved the current one so he has incentive to work fast and do a good job -- it's the only way he'll ever finish.

I inspect and inevitably find some deficiency, however minor, in the job he did.  The "punishment" is that he must remove an article of clothing from his body.  Sometimes, I'll tell him to get back to work and do it right this time, other times he can immediately correct the problem and move to the next room or task.  I really do want him to get all of his tasks done so I really don't want him to spend all day in one room.

Anyway, we just continue along like this for hours, me relaxing, inspecting, correcting, punishing or rewarding.

Often, when I check in on him, I'll encourage him with a pat or squeeze on the butt, tell him to keep it up.  Or, if there's something he missed, then I might slap his ass.  Either way, it's so cute I find it irresistable.  And, he loves it too of course.

Eventually, as things move along, Alex inevitably is down to just his underwear.  I can't tell you how sexy he looks and how powerful and sexy I feel when I see him down on all fours, scrubbing the floor (I personally    don't allow him to use mops for that task) in his skin-tight underwear.  Normally, by this time, his manhood is
protruding rather obviously and I might tell him to get his mind out of the gutter and get back to work, or something like that.  He can only say "yes my queen."

Throughout the day, Alex is very turned on and very energetic.  I really am always surprised by how much he gets done.  He really has great stamina -- especially when trying to impress his mistress.  Sometimes, he's able to really clean the entire house in only a couple hours.  I love when he is working so hard that he actually is sweating.  In fact, often I tell him he's not working hard enough until he's sweating.  It's a good workout for him.  And, visually appealing for me watching my sexy, sweaty husband serving me in nothing but a thong.   (I always make him at least keep a thong on so he doesn't "dribble" on the clean floors.)

After all tasks are completed to standard (note he has gotten better and better and faster and faster at these things the more he does them, so I have to raise my standards), then I order Alex to service me (full body massage, multiple orgasms through oral sex, etc) and then, if he's very, very good (and he usually is) then he gets an orgasm himself.

Of course, now Alex associates housework with submission to me and sexual release and pleasure for him. So, housework, even outside of our games, has become a pleasant thing for him to do.  Now, every morning, when Alex awakes, the first thing he does is make our bed (if I'm already up) and pick up our bedroom and bathroom (I usually leave my clothes on the floor now).  I used to comment to him about what a good job he did with that.  Now, I don't comment unless he misses something.  He says, "sorry, I'll do better next time."  He does that in sort of a joking way, but sort of not if you know what I mean.  And, whatever, bottom line is he enjoys doing it, gets some sexual pleasure from it, and so do I and the work is done.  I never make the bed; never pick up clothes; and rarely even help with the laundry any more.  That's all Alex' domain.  And he loves doing it.  Can you see what a great marriage we have?

So, the bottom line is you can have everything you want out of your relationship with your husband.   Absolutely everything.  If you understand how he is made.  Most importantly, you've got to understand his sex drive and how to use it to make your marriage exciting and rewarding -- for both of you.


Again, please understand, your husband will love serving you just as much, if not more, than you love being served.  So, in a way, you're doing this for him :)    You will have a better, closer, more fun and lively relationship.  Give a try and see how it goes.  You can always decide not to proceed.  But, I bet you will be pleasantly surprised at how well it goes; how much you and he enjoy your new relationship.